To begin my blogging I'd like everyone to know that i'm not one of those "oh theres a hot guy! i think i'm in love with him!" type of girl. I hardly fall in love-in face i dont think i've ever fallen in love: thus presenting my delema.
I'm deathly afraid of love because those before me didnt properly introduce me to the definition of love. I've never been exposed to the feeling of overwhelming passion, the butterflies-in-the-pit-of-my-stomach-oh-my-god-im-gonna-pass-out, feeling when i've talked to a guy. I've dated in the past-kissed guys and thought i'd really cared for them; however there is something holding me back...
I read about love stories all day and write (yes I write books) about it all night. I can imagine and paint an image of what this undying love feels like, looks like, even tastes like-yet i've never experianced it and am beginning to fear if I ever will. So what if? What if, while my friends date the boys of their dreams and shed nonstop smiles all day long, I'm stuck trying to be happy for them when I truly want to do nothing but turn and walk away.
I want to feel like they do. I want to experiance the ups and downs, pain and happiness, the tenderness a boy whispers my name, a boy who knows how to make me smile-who understands when all i need him to do is hug me as tight as he can and never let me go.
I'm tired of feeling this way and every time I come close to love people always leave.
If you could give advice-I'd truly love it.
Thanks a bunch!
<3 Sweetly broken
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